


Modern Trophy Ultimate

by Latias425



Series: Smashed Together Ultimate [2]
Category: Super Smash Brothers, 罪と罰 地球の継承者 | Sin and Punishment (Video Game), 黄金の太陽 | Golden Sun Series
Genre: Awkward Dates, First Dates, Friendship, Game Shows, Humor, Multi, Roommates, Sitcom, Spin-Off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latias425/pseuds/Latias425
Summary: We all know how the Smashers go about their daily lives in the Smash Mansion, but what about the Assist Trophies? Well, the life of an Assist is a crazy one, and with even more coming along for the Ultimate Smash tournament, things are going to even zanier.





	1. S1 E1: Best Friends

On the eastern side of the town of Smashville, right next door to the Smash Mansion stood a tall building. This is the Assist Apartment, the place where the Assist Trophies of the Super Smash Bros. tournament live.

Now I'm sure you've heard countless stories of the Smashers, the fighters of the tournament, living together in a giant mansion when they're not beating the snot out of each other, but you probably haven't heard much about how the Assists go about their daily lives. Well, that's what this series is about, and now you're about to get a look.

* * *

In the main room room of the apartment, two boys were watching the television. They were both blonde, with one in a blue outfit and a yellow scarf, and the other in a yellow shirt and black shorts.

The two of them were watching whatever show when a commercial came on, describing a game show where best friends answer questions about each other.

"Besties? Isaac, we should go on that game show!"

"What makes you think you're qualified to go on a game show?" Isaac asked. "You don't know how to spell, you don't know how money works, and you think trivia is something for, and I quote, 'nerds who have nothing else better to do with their time'."

"Come on, Isaac, it's a game show for best friends, you and I would be perfect for that!"

"Yeah, I don't know about that, Saki. I don't think you even know that much about me."

"Oh, I know absolutely everything about you, Isaac! Give me some questions."

"Okay then, when's my birthday?"

"Oh, I got it! It's...January..." Isaac shook his head. "February...March...April, May, June, July, August!" He nodded at that last month. "August 1st?"

"Mm-hm. What's the name of my game series?"

"Hmm...oh wait, I know it! Is it... _Harvest Moon_?"

Isaac sighed. "No, it's _Golden Sun_."

"Oh, right. I knew that."

"What's my favorite song?"

"Um... _Smells Like Teen Spirit_ by Nirvanna?"

"No, it's _Lie to Me_ by Bon Jovi."

"You're giving me hard questions! Can't you give me an easy one?"

"Those are easy ones, Saki. You should know because we've been roommates since the Brawl tournament, and I know that your birthday is November 21st, the name of your game series is _Sin and Punishment_ , and your favorite song is _Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love_ by Van Halen."

"How did you know that last one?"

"Because all you sing at every karaoke night is Van Halen, especially that song."

"Hey, Van Halen is one of the greatest rock bands of all time! They never had a bad album!"

"What about _Van Halen III_?"

Saki gave Isaac a glare. "We don't talk about that, thank you very much! Look, I'm gonna get us on that show, and we'll be winning big money!"

"Yeah, good luck with that."

**Later that night...**

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats and dogs, and, well...everyone else. Welcome to Besties, the ultimate friendship test! I'm your host, and we've got a pretty exciting game going on tonight! Now, without further ado, let's introduce tonight's contestants. Tonight's best friend duo is Isaac and Saki from the Assist Trophy Apartment!"

The spotlight shone on the two boys, who were sitting in a booth. Saki had an excited expression on his face while Isaac looked like he didn't want to be here at all.

"It's a great pleasure to be here, Trebek!" Saki said excitedly.

"I can't believe you actually got us on the show." Isaac muttered. _'I just hope no one at the apartment's watching.'_

"Alright, now that we've got introductions out of the way, let's get this game started!" announced the host. "So tell me, Isaac and Saki, how long have you two known each other?"

"Eleven-"

"Five years!" Saki blurted out.

"No Saki, it's eleven! We've been at the apartment since 2008, and it's 2019 now, remember?"

"You think I've been keeping up with the calendar?"

"Okay, let's just move on to the questions. We'll start with an easy one. Saki, what is Isaac's favorite color?" asked the host.

"Favorite color..." Saki thought long and hard trying to come up with an answer.

"Come on, Saki, you should know this." Isaac muttered, and he moved his hand to his scarf.

"Hmm...I'm gonna go with purple, Regis." Saki answered, causing Isaac to facepalm as the buzzer went off.

"So, I take it that that's incorrect." the host assumed, and he was right as Isaac held up a card with the correct answer, which was yellow.

"Your favorite color's yellow?"

"Yes it is, Saki! How did you not know that?!"

"I thought that it's because you like to wear purple clothes."

"No, my outfit is blue, not purple!"

"Really? It looks purple to me."

"Well, it looks like Saki got the answer wrong, so you know what that means!" The host pulled a lever, and Isaac and Saki were splatted in the face with pies. "Okay, let's move on to the next question. Isaac, what is Saki's last name."

"Oh, that's easy. His last name is Amamiya." Isaac answered, but then the buzzer went off. "What?" Saki held up a card, which said a different answer. "Morales?"

"Well, looks like Isaac got that answer wrong, so you know what that means!" The host pulled another lever, and this time Isaac and Saki were slapped in the face with fish.

"Saki, that's not your last name! Your last name is Amamiya!"

"Yeah, I know, but I think Morales sounds cooler."

"Saki, do you want to sound cool, or do you want to win?"

"I want to win."

"Okay, then we need to have a strategy. For the next few rounds, say the opposite of what you're about to say. As in, whatever it is you think about saying, answer with the opposite."

"That's a great idea. I mean, it's a horrible idea." Saki winked.

And so for the next few rounds, whenever Saki was asked a question, he answered with the opposite of what he originally intended to answer, and surprisingly, he was able to get most of them correct. They were now at the final round and 300 points away from winning.

"Now here we are at the last question, and if Isaac and Saki manage to answer correctly, then they will go home with a million dollars! Are you two ready?" asked the host.

"Ready when you are, Sajak." Saki answered.

"Okay Saki, the question is...what is Isaac's favorite musical band? You have three guesses, go!"

"Oh, I know this one!" Saki exclaimed, and he answered, "AC/DC!"

"No, that's wrong, Saki. What is the rock band that sings my favorite song that I told you earlier?" Isaac asked.

"Wait, I remember what it is. Is it...Metallica?"

"No. Here, I'll give you a hint. It starts with a 'B'."

"Oh, I've got it! Beastie Boys!" Saki blurted out, making Isaac bury his face in his hands. "Did I get it?"

"No. No, you didn't."

"Aw, looks like Saki got the question wrong, which means they lose the game. Now say it with me, audience!"

"You know what that means!" exclaimed the audience, and the host pulled a lever and Isaac and Saki were suddenly ejected out of their seats and crashed through the roof of the studio.

* * *

When the two got back to the apartment, Isaac was not happy at all. "I can't believe I wasted my time getting humiliated on live television."

"Hey, it's not my fault the host gave me hard questions while you got the easy ones!" Saki protested.

"No, it's not because you got the hard questions, it's because you know absolutely _nothing_ about me! How can you call yourself my best friend if you don't even know my birthday?! Because my _real_ best friend would know that it's August 1st, my favorite color is yellow, and my favorite band is Bon Jovi!"

"Wait, it was ?"

"Yes, I already told you that, and you remember that song that we sang together when we hated each other's guts way back when? I considered that song to be what started our friendship, but I guess that means absolutely nothing to you." Isaac sighed in exasperation. "You know what, I'm just gonna go to bed."

As Isaac left for their room, Saki thought that perhaps he was right. He really wasn't being a good friend to him. He sighed as he walked and into the kitchen, grabbing himself some cold leftovers from the fridge and sitting down at an empty table in the dining room. The room was mostly dark, with the only source of light being the faint light from the kitchen as he ate in silence.

"Oh Saki, there you are. I was wondering where you were."

Saki looked up to see a certain blue-haired samurai standing next to him. "Oh, hey Tak."

"Why the long face?" Takamaru asked upon noticing the look on Saki's face. "Is something the matter?"

Saki sighed. "Yeah, and it's about Isaac. We were on this game show, and I might have got some answers wrong, and now Isaac doesn't want to talk to me or be my friend anymore. Apparently he think I know nothing about him."

"Oh, I see." Takamaru nodded in understanding. "Well, if there is anything I can suggest to you, then perhaps you could just try to be a better friend to him. Show him how much you truly care for him."

Saki took a moment to take in the samurai's advice. "Yeah, you're right, Tak. I wasn't being the best friend to Isaac, but I'm gonna change that! Starting tomorrow, I'll be the bestest friend anyone could ever have!"

* * *

The next morning, Isaac was shot awake by a loud noise suddenly blasting in his ears, making him jump and hit his head on the bunk bed.

Saki was standing next to his bed and had blown a noisemaker right in his ear. "Good morning, Isaac, my bestest friend in the whole wide world!" he greeted with a wide, smile.

Isaac groaned and rubbed his head. "Saki, why did you have to wake me up like that?"

"I just wanted to wish you a happy twenty-five days until your birthday!"

Isaac was confused. "Saki, why would you celebrate something like that?"

"Because last night I realized I wasn't being a good friend to you, but now I'm going to make it up to you by being the friend you could ever have! Now get up and get dressed. We're gonna go somewhere special!"

"Wait, what? Where are we going?"

"Well, if I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?"

* * *

Some time later, Saki was guiding Isaac down the streets of Smashville with a blindfold covering the Adept's eyes.

"Saki, why are you even doing this? I mean, I understand you want to be a better friend to me, but you really don't have to-"

"Don't worry, Isaac. We're almost there." Saki interrupted, and after another minute of walking, they arrived at their destination. "Okay, you can take the blindfold off now!"

"Finally." Isaac took off the blindfold and saw that they were standing on a dock, and a large cruise stood before them. "Saki, what is this?"

"Surprise! I thought you'd like to take a relaxing vacation, so I got us to go on a cruise! You always wanted to go on a cruise, right?"

"Well, uh...thanks, I guess, but I really don't think it was necessary for you to-"

"Aw, you don't need to say anymore, Isaac. Let's just get in there and have ourselves a good time!" Saki took Isaac's hand and led them onto the cruise.

**(Montage set to Friends Will Be Friends by Queen)**

During a montage, Isaac and Saki are doing all sorts of activities on the cruise, but it was getting pretty difficult for Isaac to enjoy it with Saki constantly showering him with care and attention, and throughout all of this, he kept that wide, cheesy smile, and it was really starting to annoy him as well as creep him out a bit.

Sometime later, Isaac was sitting in a folding chair on the main deck, hoping to finally have some time to relax by himself, when it was interrupted by a horrible scratching sound. He turned his head and groaned to see Saki pushing a chair right next to his.

"Hey Isaac, you want me to hold your drink for you?" Saki asked, giving the same wide smile.

"No man, I'm good." Isaac answered in slight irritation.

"Okay, just let me know if you need anything." There was a bit of silence as Isaac got back to relaxing, but just as he did, Saki pulled out a radio and turned it on, and rock music begin to play. "Hey, it's Bon Jovi, your favorite." Isaac was starting to get annoyed and was about to get up when Saki suddenly jumped on him. "Want me to shine your boots? Iron your scarf? Massage your back?"

"SAKI, JUST STOP!" Isaac shouted, making Saki freeze. "I don't need you to keep doing this! You've been all day! You can't even let me breath without getting in my face and asking me a bunch of ridiculous things! I don't need you to constantly shower me with attention! I know your doing this because you want to be a better friend to me, but you're really just acting like a stalker, and it's freaking me out!" He heaved a sigh before continuing. "Look, what I'm saying is...I just think our friendship is fine the way it is. I mean, you can be pretty absent minded, doing things without thinking, and you get us in all kinds of trouble sometimes, but we have had some good memories and you have been there for me when I was going through some tough times and, well...I guess that's all I could really ask for in a friend."

Saki took a moment to take in the Adept's words. "Yeah, you're right, Isaac. A best friend shouldn't be making their friend feel uncomfortable. From now on, I'll be your best friend by just being myself and being there for you, because you're there for me too." And with that, the two friends shared a hug.

"Umm, Saki, I just want to ask. How did you even manage to pay for this cruise?"

"Oh, with Master Hand's credit card." Saki answered, making Isaac's eyes go wide.

"Wait, you just took his card without him knowing?!"

"Eh, it's fine. Crazy Hand let me borrow it. Besides, the Smashers go and buy all kinds of stuff with it all the time, so we've got nothing to worry about."

"Oh, well in that case...wanna go get something to eat at the buffet?"

"Sure thing, my best friend." Saki replied as the two of them headed off to enjoy the rest of their cruise trip.


	2. S1 E2: First Date

It was an ordinary day in the Assist Apartment, and Isaac was in his room sitting on the couch pretty lazily when Saki came running in.

"Hey Isaac, guess what! I'm going on a date tonight!"

That got the Adepts's attention as he sat up. "A date? With who?"

"With Phosphora." Saki answered, grinning. "You remember that bet we made on who would score a date first? Well, it looks like I won, so pay up, buddy."

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on! Saki, I don't remember making any bets."

"Oh, really? You don't remember saying 'Hey man, let's bet on who can score a date first, and whoever loses owes the winner thirty bucks'?"

"When did I say that?"

"At breakfast last week, and if you don't believe me, let's let the narrator flashback."

With pleasure, Saki.

**One week ago...**

It was morning time as the Assists were in the dining room eating breakfast. Every morning the cooks Takamaru and Chef Kawasaki would lay out a buffet which consisted of your typical breakfast food such as pancakes, waffles, French toast, eggs and bacon, cereal, muffins, bagels, and the like.

Saki and Spring Man had finished filling their plates with food and sat down at a table where they saw Isaac sitting there with his head resting on his hands and staring out into the distance with a wide, dreamy smile. This was far from the first time they saw him like this, so they knew what was going on in his head.

"Is Isaac going all goo-goo eyes for Lyn again?" Spring Man asked.

"Let me see. Hey, Isaac." Saki said, poking Isaac in the cheek, and he didn't react as he still had that same dopey smile. He then waved a hand in front of his face, and once again, no reaction other than a dreamy sigh. "Yep, he's definitely daydreaming about her again."

"Here man, I got this." Spring Man said as he took Isaac's glass of apple juice and splashed it in his face, snapping him back to reality.

"Huh, what the?!" he asked as he frantically looked around and noticed that his face was wet. "Spring Man, what the hell was that for?!"

"Sorry man, but you were daydreaming again."

"About Lyn, for the millionth time." Saki added. "Have you even tried going over there and talking to her? Maybe ask her out on a date?" he asked with a hint of teasing, making the Adept blush a deep red.

"Y-Yes, I have, several times! In fact, I can go do it right now, watch me!" Isaac got up from his seat and headed over to the table where Lyn was sitting, but his legs started to get shaky as he got closer and soon they gave out as he fell to the floor curled up in the fetal position as Saki and Spring Man came over. "I-I can't do it!"

"Come on, man, talking to a girl really isn't that hard." Saki said.

"How do you know? Have _you_ ever tried asking a girl out?" Isaac asked.

"No, but that doesn't mean I can't do it, because I'm not a wimp!"

Isaac then stood up. "Oh really, wanna bet? Then let's see which one of us can get a date first, and whoever loses...has to pay the winner thirty bucks!"

"You've got yourself a deal." Saki replied as the two shook hands, and with that the bet was sealed.

* * *

Back to the present, Isaac's eyes widened as he realized that he did in fact make that bet, and now he owed thirty bucks.

"So now you remember?" asked Saki as he held out his hand. "Now hand me the thirty bucks."

Isaac cursed at himself as he dug into his pocket. "Okay fine, you win." he grumbled as he forked over the cash. "Have fun with your date."

"Oh, we will. You'll see, Isaac, that this is gonna be the best night of my life."

* * *

And so, that night Saki and Phosphora went out for their date. First was dinner, but since they didn't have the money to afford anything fancy, they just went to Mona Pizza.

"Welcome to Mona Pizza, what can I get you?" asked the cashier.

"Yeah, can we have a-" Saki began before Phosphora interrupted.

"We'll have an extra large pizza with olives and extra pepperoni."

"Well, alright. Take a seat and we'll have your pizza out in a few minutes."

The two of them sat down at a table and waited. A few minutes later, their pizza arrived, but when Phosphora saw it, she became disgusted. "Wait, are those olives?"

Saki was confused. "But I thought you said you wanted olives!"

"Me, wanting olives on my pizza? Ew, you know olives on pizza is totally disgusting! I'm not eating this!"

"Alright, we can just take them off." Saki began to pick the olives off the pizza, but Phosphora still refused to eat it.

"Nope, still not eating it. You can see that the olives were there!"

"You know what? How about we just forget dinner and head to the movies?"

* * *

At the movie theater, things weren't much better as Phosphora was leaning uncomfortably close to Saki in their seats.

"Don't you just love romantic movies, Saki? You know I love romantic movies." she said, resulting in several shushes from the people who were just trying to watch the movie.

"Y-Yeah, sure, but...can you please not put your hands so close to my face?" Saki asked quietly.

"Oh, I gotta use the bathroom. Save my seat, okay?" Phosphora got up from her seat and went to go use the bathroom, and Saki sighed in relief that he would finally have some space, although it wouldn't last for long. She made her way through the aisle but stopped when something on the screen caught her attention, causing complaints from some people behind her as she was obscuring their view. "Ooh, I love this part! This is where the two lovers get separated and now must express their love for each other from thousands of miles away!" Everyone in the theater groaned that she had just spoiled the movie while Saki sank in his seat in embarrassment.

 _'This can't possibly get any worse…'_ he thought, but it did get worse as he heard Phosphora's voice ramble on.

"By the way, I've already seen this movie and I can tell you all more about it!" That made everyone start booing and some began to throw their popcorn and drinks at them.

* * *

After that disaster of a date, the two returned to the apartment.

"Wasn't that fun, Saki?" Phosphora asked, and as much as Saki really wanted to say no, he could only reply with a nod. "Well, that was the best date of my life! See ya in the morning!" She gave him a peck on the cheek and zoomed off.

As soon as she was gone, Saki groaned. "That was the _worst_ date of my entire life!"

In their room, Isaac was sitting on the couch, surfing through the channels on TV when Saki came in. "Hey, Saki. How did your date go?"

"Horrible." Saki answered as he sat down next to his friend. "Phosphora is by far the absolute worst person to ever go on a date with! She never makes up her mind, she never shuts her mouth, and she got us kicked out of the movie theater because she wouldn't stop blabbering!" He then felt a vibration in his pocket, and took out his phone. "And now she just texted me to tell me that it was the best date of her life, which was what she told me two minutes ago."

"Sounds like you had a real blast, huh?"

"God, that girl is exhausting." Saki sighed, and then took out a pizza box. "Want the rest of this pizza? Phosphora didn't want it because it has olives, even though she asked for them."

"Sure." Isaac answered as he grabbed a slice.

**The next morning...**

_*RING! RING! RING!*_

Saki groaned as he was awoken by the rings coming from his phone. Ever since they came home from their date last night, he kept getting non-stop texts from Phosphora, and he was really contemplating on blocking her number when there was a knock on the door to the room.

"Good morning, my sweet Saki-waki~!" called the lightning nymph's voice from behind the door.

Saki's eyes went wide upon hearing her voice and tried to come up with an excuse as he quickly climbed out of bed and locked the door to the room. "Uh...Saki's not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeep."

However, Phosphora didn't buy it. "Oh, come on, Saki, I know you're in there, so just come on out."

"Well, I would really like to, but I can't right now because...I'm in the shower!"

"I don't hear the water running."

"Then...I just got out so don't come in because I'm-" Phosphora burst right through the door and grabbed Saki.

"Aw, you're not naked?" she asked in slight disappointment. "Oh that doesn't matter, I got something special for you!"

She then zipped out of the room while holding Saki, and no matter how hard he tried to break away, she had a death grip on him. The two made it down to the dining room on the main floor where the rest of the Assists were having breakfast.

"Ta-da! I had Chef Kawasaki make us a special breakfast to share!" Phosphora announced as she led Saki to a table where their breakfast sat, which consisted of a stack of pancakes decorated with strawberries, bacon and eggs that made the shape of a heart, and a large glass of orange juice with two straws.

While impressed at the display, the thought of sharing breakfast with her kind of made Saki lose his appetite. "Th-That's nice and all, but...I'm not really hungry right now, so..."

"Oh, don't kid with me, Saki, you must be starving with food like this! We can even take turns fork feeding each other!" Phosphora exclaimed, and the thought of that made Saki throw up a bit in his mouth.

Isaac saw them from a nearby table and couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. _'That could be me and Lyn right now.'_

"Yo Isaac, what's poppin'?" asked Spring Man as he sat down next to the Adept with his breakfast. "Where's Saki at?" he asked before taking a drink from his glass of orange juice.

"He's over there having breakfast with his new girlfriend."

Upon hearing that, Spring Man spit out his orange juice right in Isaac's face. "Wait, hold up. Saki has a girlfriend?!"

"Apparently." Isaac answered, gesturing to the table where Saki sat with Phosphora, and they saw her trying to feed him a piece of pancake, to which he felt incredibly embarrassed by.

"Oh, well, I'm happy for him. Didn't expect him to be with Phosphora, though. So you lost the bet on getting a date?"

"Spring Man, please!" Isaac whispered harshly, his cheeks starting to turn red.

"Come on, Saki, let's go have some fun!" Phosphora said as she dragged Saki out of the dining room, and he held onto the door frame for dear life.

"Help me!" he whimpered before he lost his grip.

**(Montage set to She Drives Me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibals)**

During a montage, Phosphora took Saki all around town to do things such as taking selfies in front of various places and shopping at the mall. Throughout it all, he desperately tried to get away from her several times, but every time he did, she would just pull him back to her. This girl was definitely driving him crazy and he didn't want to be in this relationship any longer.

"Wasn't that fun, Saki?" Phosphora asked as the two of them walked out of the mall, with her boyfriend holding a bunch of shopping bags.

"Y-Yeah, I had a real blast!" Saki answered with a wide smile, although on the inside he was screaming for help.

"Well, I'm glad you're having fun. Oh, that reminds me. I should introduce you to my folks!"

"Wait, what?" Saki asked, nearly dropping all the bags.

"We're already going out and shopping and had our first real date, so I think we're ready to move on to the next step, the 'meet the parents' step!"

 _'Please just end me.'_ Saki thought as he was dragged by the arm.

* * *

"Well, here we are!" Phosphora announced as they arrived at the place, which looked like a giant tree. "This is where my folks live. They may seem scary at first, but trust me, they're really nice people once you get to know them." She walked over to the door and knocked on it, and before Saki could have a chance to make a run for it, it opened and out came a tall purple-skinned figure wearing a black suit and had a long white mustache and a monocle.

"Oh, Miss Phosphora, what brings you here?" he asked.

"Hi Arlon, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Saki!"

"Boyfriend?" asked Arlon in surprise, and then turned and called, "Mistress Viridi, Miss Phosphora is here, and it looks like she brought a guest."

"What do you mean she brought a guest?" asked a female voice, and someone who looked very young with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail came to the door, and her eyes went wide when she saw Saki. "Phosphora, what on earth do you think you're doing bringing a _human_ into my domain?!"

"Saki, this is Viridi. Viridi, this is my boyfriend, Saki."

"Boyfriend?!" Viridi asked in shock. Having a human at her domain was bad enough, but one of her troopers was dating him?! "Phosphora, get him out of here at once! I will not allow him into my domain!"

"But Viridi, Saki's a nice guy! He won't do anything bad, right babe?"

"Uh...y-y-yeah, totally." Saki answered nervously.

"Mistress, if Miss Phosphora trusts Young Master Saki, then it would be pretty rude of us to force him out." Arlon added.

Viridi was about to protest, but crossed her arms and grumbled, " _Fine_ , he can stay, but _only_ this one time! And I'm gonna be keeping a very close eye on him in case he tries to do anything funny."

Saki was quite intimidated by the goddess's glare, and sure enough, she kept watching him like a hawk as he was led inside. "So...pretty nice place you got here." he complimented, hoping not to set a bad impression.

"Yes, and you two are just in time for dinner." Arlon said.

"Great..." Saki replied, although he was dreading having to eat with these complete strangers.

* * *

And so the four of them sat at the table in the dining room for dinner, and needless to say, it was incredibly awkward for Saki, as he was sitting in a room with a couple of people he barely knew with one of them, the one with an apparent hatred for humans, sitting right across from him and giving him the same cold, hard glare, like she could smite him right there on the spot if he so much as moved a single muscle. The fact that she was also a goddess of nature definitely didn't help matters any. He nervously shifted his eyes to Phosphora and Arlon, who were busy eating their dinner before looking down at his food, which was just a plain vegetable salad.

"Hey, uh...is this all you got to eat? I'm not really that big on vegetables and-"

"Well vegetables is all you're gonna eat here." Viridi replied sternly. "I'm not giving anything else to you _disgusting_ humans that slaughter innocent animals and then eat them! You make me _sick_!"

"W-Well, do you at least have some dressing or...anything that can make this salad somewhat edible?" Saki asked, to which the nature goddess answered with a no.

More time passed, and seconds felt like hours to Saki as he tried to come up with another way to get himself out of this.

"Um...excuse me, ma'am, but...where's the bathroom? I gotta go take a leak."

"No, you don't."

Saki could tell that Viridi knew he was trying to weasel his way out of this awkward dinner, so he tried to justify his excuse. "O-Oh yeah, I don't think I told you this yet. Y-You see, I have this really rare condition where if I don't go at a specific time, my bladder...kinda goes out of control. I think they call it...Ulcerative Colitis."

"You don't even know what Ulcerative Colitis is, do you?"

"No..." Saki answered sheepishly, making Viridi facepalm and groan.

 _'Phosphora, why are you dating this guy?!'_ she asked herself in frustration.

With his bathroom excuse dashed off, Saki tried to think of another way to leave the table. After some thinking, he took his fork and purposely dropped it on the floor. "Oh whoops, I dropped my fork. Can I go get another one?"

"No, you're gonna pick up the one you dropped." Viridi answered sternly.

Saki gulped as he looked down to see where his fork went, but then saw that it landed under Phosphora's seat, so he reached his arm out slowly and quietly, hoping that she wouldn't see him.

But just as he reached his hand under the chair, she suddenly turned to him and exclaimed, "Yes, Saki!" He was completely confused as she grabbed his hands and stared into his eyes. "Of course I'll marry you!"

As soon as she said that, Viridi spit out her drink and Arlon dropped his utensils in shock. "WHAT?!" they both exclaimed.

Saki had no idea what to say or do, why was Phosphora thinking he was proposing to her? Before he could say anything, Viridi spoke up.

"No, absolutely not! Phosphora, I will _not_ allow you to be engaged with this filthy human! I don't know what on my green earth possessed you to think that!"

Saki couldn't believe it. Was Viridi actually going to save him from this crazy marriage? If she was, he was just about ready to do a quadruple backflip in pure happiness, but then Arlon spoke up.

"Mistress, if Miss Phosphora wishes to be engaged with Young Master Saki, then I think it should be fair that we allow her to."

Viridi was about to protest again, but realized that she was outvoted and groaned. " _Fine_ , but just know what you're getting into, Phosphora!"

At that moment, Saki's hopes were completely shattered into a million pieces. He was really going to get married.

* * *

When the two got back to the apartment, Phosphora announced to everyone that she and Saki were going to be engaged, and he hoped that someone would be against it, but all they got was cheers and claps from the others as they congratulated them for going to the next step in their relationship. Isaac and Spring Man weren't that much help either as they congratulated him as well and even volunteered to be his best men. And so for the rest of that night, Saki lay awake in bed with a face that screamed, 'I want to die'.

* * *

And so over the next few days, the Assists prepared for Saki and Phosphora's wedding, and before everyone knew it, the big day came. The apartment was decorated with white streamers and balloons and the backyard had the altar where the ceremony was going to be held and chairs were lined up as all the Assists, as well as some guests, including the Forces of Nature, were getting in their seats.

Saki really hoped that this day would never come, but it did, and he was currently getting prepared by his best men Isaac and Spring Man...well, it was mostly just the latter as the former was too busy sulking in the corner, probably over the fact that his best friend was already getting married while he hadn't even managed to score a date with the girl he had been crushing on for years.

"There we go." Spring Man said as he finished adjusting the bow on Saki's tux. "You look handsome, man! Phosphora's really gonna love you in that tux!"

"Th-Thanks, man." Saki smiled, even though it was forced as he really didn't want to do this wedding.

"Come on, man, you should be more happy that you're getting married, it's like one of the most important days of your life! Can't believe it only took you a week to get a date and marry her while it takes Isaac twelve years just to ask Lyn out on a date."

"Shut up, Spring Man!" Isaac snapped before going back to sulking. _'Why did I have to make that stupid bet?'_

Spring Man looked over at the clock. "Oh, the ceremony's starting in fifteen minutes! We better get out there."

* * *

At around four o'clock, it was time for the ceremony to begin. Everyone was seated and talked with one another while they waited. Then _Here Comes the Bride_ began to play from the speakers, and everyone went silent and turned their heads to the door where the bride and groom would be walking out of.

Needless to say, Saki was incredibly nervous about it as he was shaking in his suit.

"You got this, man. You just gotta walk down that aisle and up to the altar." Spring Man told him.

"Okay, let's just get this over with." Saki said to himself as he began to walk down the aisle, trying to focus on just walking the straight path as all eyes were on him. Isaac and Spring Man followed him and they made it up to the altar.

Then everyone turned as Phosphora appeared in the doorway in her blue and white wedding dress. While Saki couldn't deny that she looked very beautiful, he didn't want to be engaged and have to spend the rest of his life with a crazy person like her. She soon made her way down the aisle, occasionally waving at the audience.

Once the bride reached the altar, Dr. Wright came up and stood between the soon-to-be-married couple and announced, "Assist Trophies young and old, we have gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of two of our very own, Saki and Phosphora. Before we begin with the ceremony, if there is anyone who wishes to object to this union, please say so now."

A flicker of hope sparked in Saki. This was finally his chance to get out of this nightmare. He was about to open his mouth to object, but before any words could come out, Phosphora spoke up.

"I object." she said, resulting in a series of "What?!" from Saki, the Forces of Nature, Isaac and Spring Man, and the rest of the audience. "I'm sorry, Saki, I hope you understand. I really enjoyed all the time we spent together, but I can't marry you because…I'm in love with someone else." she confessed, making everyone gasp while Saki just stood there in utter shock and disbelief. "Will you ever get over me?"

Unsure of what else to say, Saki answered, "Yeah, but it'll probably take a _long_ time, and we probably shouldn't talk for a while."

"Thank you, Saki." Phosphora nodded in understanding as she walked away.

"Well that was a complete waste of time, but at least Phosphora isn't marrying that filthy human." Viridi said as she got up from her seat and her and the Forces of Nature began to leave, and soon everyone else followed suit, leaving Saki and his best men to stand on the altar.

"Woah, man. I can't believe she dumped you." Spring Man said, putting his hand on Saki's shoulder. "It's okay, man. You'll get over it, right?"

While Saki was internally celebrating that he was finally free from her, he kept up the facade and answered, "Yeah, of course. It might hurt a bit, but I'll get over it. Maybe before Isaac actually gets a date."

"You guys just have to keep jabbing at me like that, don't you?" Isaac asked in irritation.


	3. S1 E3: Grilled Cheese Supreme

Isaac was sitting in the computer room in the Assist Apartment when Saki came in with a bag in his hand.

"Hey Isaac, look what I got!" he said as he set the bag down on the desk and took out a sandwich.

"Is that a Grilled Cheese Supreme from Cheezer's?"

"You know it is!" Saki replied as he split the sandwich in half and shared it with his friend. They then took a bite and moaned at the cheesy goodness.

"Oh, this is so good."

"I know, right? Cheezer's only has the best grilled cheese in the whole world!"

"How did you even manage this?"

"I bought it, with money."

"Nice. Hey, you know what would go good with this grilled cheese? Funny internet videos!"

"Here, I got a good one!" Saki said as he reached for the keyboard.

"No, man! You're just gonna put on that stupid video of the Doduo and the balls again!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are! I see you typing it in!"

"Look man, just close your eyes."

Isaac groaned and shut his eyes. "Saki, I swear if it's that ball video..."

"It's not, dude, it's not."

"It better not."

"Okay, it's loading...and now!"

Isaac opened his eyes and saw that Saki had put on a video of a Doduo playing ball as an old man watched.

 _"Don't get too close now, Pa."_ said a voice from offscreen. The Doduo swung the bat with one of its heads and hit the ball, and then it ran over to the old man and kicked him right between the legs. Saki burst out laughing while Isaac groaned.

"Saki, what the heck?! You said it wouldn't be the ball video! Why do you gotta lie to me?"

"Because lying's my specialty."

Just then, Mr. Resetti burst out from under the ground right behind them, and saw that the two were eating his grilled cheese. "What are you doing with my sandwich?!" he demanded.

"Wait, what?!" Isaac asked in shock.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of this with my specialty." Saki turned to the mole. "This isn't your sandwich. This is _our_ sandwich."

"It's your sandwich, huh? Then why does the bag have my name on it?!"

Saki looked and saw that Resetti's name was in fact on the bag. "Oh, it's actually supposed to say my name, they just spelled it wrong."

"STOP LYING!" Resetti shouted, his face starting to turn red in anger.

"Saki, you told me you bought this!" Isaac said.

"HE DIDN'T BUY IT! Now you two are gonna get off your lazy butts and buy me another Grilled Cheese Supreme!" And so he left the room.

"Way to ruin our computer time."

"Ah, it'll be fine, man. The line's not gonna be _that_ long."

* * *

Isaac and Saki stood near the end of the line at Cheezer's, which stretched all the way down the street and around the corner.

"Thanks for saving the day with your 'specialty', idiot." grumbled the Adept.

"Whatever, like you could do any better."

"Pfft, I'm a better liar than you are."

"Oh, really? The only thing you're better at is being a big piece of-" Saki began before getting punched pretty hard in the arm, making him yell in pain.

Isaac then noticed that two men in blue suits were walking past the line and inside the restaurant. "Hey, those guys are cutting in line!"

An old lady standing in front of them turned to him. "Those fine men are astronauts. They're allowed to cut in line. They fought for our country."

Saki gasped. "Dude, here's your chance to prove that you're a better liar than me, or maybe you can't. Look at your face." He rubbed his hands all over Isaac's face. "It must really eat you up inside to not be able to prove you're a better liar than me, 'cause you can prove nothing! You. Can't. Prove. Anything!"

Isaac had enough and grabbed Saki with a Psynergy hand and lifted him up. "Fine, you want me to prove I'm a better liar than you? Then why don't we see who's better in lying, and whoever gets caught first loses."

"Okay, but it's not like you're gonna lie better than _thi-i-is_!" Saki yelped as the hand dropped him.

Isaac then turned back to the old lady. "Ahem, excuse me, Miss."

"What?!"

"We're astronauts."

* * *

And just like that, the two walked past the line and into the restaurant.

"See, told you I'm better at lying."

"Woah, woah, woah, step aside! I'll show you how a real man lies." Saki walked up to the counter. "Hey baby, give me a Grilled Cheese Supreme and make it snappy, 'cause we're astronauts and we gotta get back up in space, know what I'm sayin'?"

"Oh, my!" exclaimed the cashier, and then spoke in the intercom, "One Grilled Cheese Supreme for the astronauts." That got the attention of the two astronauts from earlier. "That'll be two-fifty."

Saki slammed the money down on the counter. "Bam! That's a moon quarter." The cashier took the money in awe, and he grinned at Isaac who rolled his eyes.

"Dude, that was so lame."

"Excuse me, sir, your grilled cheese is ready."

Isaac took the bag from the cashier. "Thanks. We gotta get this back to our astronaut captain, know what I'm saying?"

"Oh, is that your astronaut captain over there?" asked the cashier, pointing to a table where the two astronauts sat, and Isaac saw that Saki was chatting with them. He groaned and walked over to them.

"This is the guy!" Saki said.

"You're the guy?" asked one of the astronauts.

"I'm..." Isaac looked at Saki who nodded. "I'm the guy..." he replied uncertainly.

This got the astronaut excited as he shook the Adept's hand. "Well, it's an honor to meet you, Captain! Lieutenant Saks here told us a lot about you."

"Yeah, it's great to meet a couple of real fellow astronauts."

"So, what are you guys doing in this dump hole anyways?"

"Ah, you know, we were just picking up a grilled cheese for our commanding officer." Saki answered.

"Ha, yeah, we were just getting ready to take it back to the compound." Isaac added.

"Compound? We were just getting ready to go there ourselves? Wanna lift?"

"Uh, sure. We'll take a lift to the compound."

"Come to think of it, why haven't we seen you around the compound before?"

"We've just got back from a ten-year stand in the old shuttlecraft. Isn't that right, Captain Isaac?" Saki asked.

"Yeah, and we just transferred here. This is our first day."

"Well, welcome! We'll be glad to show you around! Now, I hope you're up to spend 2.5 million dollars of taxpayers' money, cause we're driving!"

And so they drove off to the compound in a vehicle shaped like a spaceship, but it only took five seconds as it was right across from Cheezer's.

"Gentlemen, welcome to the compound!" announced the astronaut, with the word 'compound' echoing through the hall.

They then approached a checkpoint. "Oh, uh, I forgot my ID in my other pants. Can you help me out, guys?" Saki asked.

"Oh, what? That was my ID! I told you not to lose it!" Isaac exclaimed.

"Guys, guys, calm down! You can use our IDs." The astronauts handed the boys their IDs, and they got past the checkpoint without a problem. "Here, you guys might be more comfortable in these." They handed the two blue jackets.

"Ah, thanks!" Saki replied as he and Isaac put them on. "Yeah, I love these things, but Captain Isaac might not be into 'em. Don't you like the uniforms in pink?"

"Pink?!" asked the astronauts.

"I only had to borrow a pair that one time from..." Isaac noticed a list of employees on the wall and quickly picked a random name. "Dr. Asinoskovich. That one time."

"Ah, you know Dr. Asinoskovich? That's funny, because she's right there!"

The doctor in question turned and looked at Isaac in confusion. "I don't remember you!"

"Really? Uhh...it was one time at that conference. You don't remember me?" Isaac asked.

"Uh...I don't remember very much from that conference. I...have to go!" And so she left in quite a hurry.

"Well, that was awkward. Ah, come on, we'll give you the grand tour."

"Dude, you should quit right now. You're totally gonna get caught." Isaac whispered to Saki.

"Hmm hmm, we'll see."

**(Montage set to Lies by Thompson Twins)**

During the montage, the astronauts showed the two around the compound.

Once the montage ended, Isaac and Saki were washing their hands in the bathroom.

"Man, I don't think you can last much longer. I think you should give it up!" Saki said.

"They're not onto me."

"Then I guess it's time that I start lying at one hundred percent! What do you think of that?!"

After that, the astronauts led the two into a large room.

"And what tour would be complete without a stop at the pride of our compound: the antimatter chamber!" announced the astronaut, slapping a clerk on the back. "How is she running today, Jimmy?"

"Well, actually, sir...there've been some problems maintaining safe levels of-" Jimmy was slapped on the back again, making him drop his clipboard onto a green button.

"That's fate. I don't understand what half of these science types say."

"Oh, that's too bad. Captain here's an expert on it!" Saki replied.

"You're an expert on antimatter?"

"Uh...yeah, but not compared to how much this guy knows!" Isaac answered, pointing to Saki. Just then, an alarm went off. "Did you know he wrote a book on it?"

" _We_ wrote a book on it!"

"Well, you did most of the work on it!"

"But your name's on the cover!"

"Yeah, right next to yours!"

"Above mine!"

"Jimmy, knock off that beepin'!" shouted the astronaut.

"Yeah, actually, sir, I'm having trouble with-"

"Trouble? Well, these guys are experts! Can you lend a hand, fellas?"

"Sure, we can! Go ahead, _Captain_!" Saki answered, nudging the Adept.

Isaac walked over to the control panel. "Well, according to the book Lieutenant Saki wrote, you wanna turn that knob there."

Jimmy did as told when Saki butted in. "But Captain's own research outdates mine, so turn that knob over there!"

"But he's forgetting the recent discoveries he's made! Flip those switches!"

"Discoveries based on his studies, hit those buttons!"

"I never said hit those buttons!"

"Yeah Jimmy, you're not doing it like Captain Isaac said! You gotta do it like this!" Saki began to fiddle with all the buttons, causing the anti-nucleus to go unstable as the pipes burst and danger lights exploded.

"Dude, stop! You're gonna break it!" Isaac shouted.

"No, _you're_ gonna break it!" Saki shouted back.

Just then, the major came in. "What's all this commotion?"

"Major Williams?" asked the astronaut as he and his partner dusted off Isaac and Saki. "We were just showing these new transfers around the compound, sir!"

Suddenly, a warning siren went off. "Captain Isaac, Lieutenant Saks, the antimatter is becoming unstable!" Jimmy shouted, and the antimatter was in fact wobbling.

"Captain Isaac, Lieutenant Saks, you can fix this, right?" asked the astronaut.

"Yes, Lieutenant Saks can totally fix this!" Isaac exclaimed.

"Not without Captain's help!" Saki added.

"No time for modesty!" The astronaut opened the door to the antimatter chamber and pushed the two inside.

"Dude, this is all your fault." Isaac said.

"What?! You're the one who won't admit you suck at lying!" Saki shouted.

"'Cause I don't!"

Outside from the window, the others watched the two arguing.

"Why don't you give up and tell them what's going on so they can help us!"

"No, you do it!"

"No way!"

The antimatter began to shake even more as Isaac groaned. "Fine!" He walked up to the window.

"What's the holdup?"

"Look, I have to tell you the truth. I have a condition that makes me forget everything in times of extreme stress." Saki's jaw dropped to the floor. "Lieutenant Saks doesn't have that condition. He's just an idiot."

"Hey!"

"We need you to tell us what to do!" Isaac shouted.

"Oh, my...Jimmy, what do we do?"

"They have to penetrate the anti-nucleus with something solid!"

"Right! Listen up! You have one chance at this thing! You have to throw Lieutenant Saks into the anti-nucleus!"

"WHAT?!" Saki asked in shock.

"It's the only way! Captain Isaac has those magic hands, so you must sacrifice yourself to save thousands of lives, Lieutenant!"

"No! Don't listen to him, Isaac! DON'T DO IT!" Saki begged.

"Do it! Throw him in! THROW HIM IN!" shouted the astronaut, and Isaac looked around, conflicted on what to do.

"Please, no!" Saki pleaded.

"Throw him in, NOW!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for lying! You win, okay?! I won't lie anymore!"

"It's too late, Saki. I can't let everyone die because of us." Isaac then created a Psynergy hand and grabbed Saki and began to lift him above his head.

"NO!" he screamed, but then a zip sound was heard as he was put down, and he saw that his jacket was unzipped. "Huh?"

"You really thought I was gonna throw you in? I told you I'm a better liar than you." Isaac grinned, holding up the bag of grilled cheese.

"Resetti's grilled cheese!"

"You better hope this works!" Isaac threw the sandwich bag into the anti-nucleus, and it caught it before shooting out two beams that grabbed the two, twisting their bodies until creating a huge explosion, throwing them out of the chamber. With their bodies charred and everyone standing over them, they knew the jig was up.

"We're not astronauts." Saki confessed.

* * *

Isaac and Saki were back at the Smash Mansion grounds as the two astronauts threw them out of the back of their van.

"If you ever lie about being astronauts again, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"We saved the city, astro-" Saki shot back as the bag of grilled cheese was thrown at his face and the astronauts drove off.

Resetti was in the computer room when the two boys came in. "Where have you been?! I've been waiting all day!" Isaac gave him his grilled cheese, which was completely burned. "What the? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SANDWICH?!"

"There were spacemen at Cheezer's! And the tube...we went down and...everyone wore sweatpants...even us...and then the room with the bad stuff...but...we saved the city with your sandwich!" Saki exclaimed.

Resetti groaned. "Ugh, why do you always have to lie to my face?"

"We accidentally dropped it in the street and a truck ran it over." Isaac said.

"See, was it so hard to tell the truth?"


End file.
